Ryo returned to the creek as the sun started to go down. He was still in fine spirits, but he looked a lot more mussed, scratched and tired than he'd when he'd left, and the first thing he said was that he was starving. Actually, he asked, "Are you guys as hungry as I am?" but 'I'm starving!' was pretty much what he meant. I wasn't especially hungry myself, but Sage agreed it was time to start dinner, so the two of us pulled on our shoes and we all headed back to the house. On the way I asked what Ryo had been doing to get so disheveled. He'd been busy: climbed a few trees, smoked out a wasp's nest, singed a bunch of thorny vines that were threatening to take over one of the paths, covered up some exposed tree roots and dug up a few stones, un-dammed the creek further down, chased a few squirrels, played with a rabbit-

"Played with a rabbit?" I repeated. "And you smelling of White Blaze?"

"Oh, it knows me. I fed it a few winters ago when it was just a baby and it got really tame. White Blaze sniffed it over good the first time I brought it inside-" Ryo laughed a little. "I thought the poor thing was going to have a heart attack, but eventually they got to be friends. It used to go to sleep sitting on him while he was lying by the fire."

"Oh," I said, smiling at the mental image. "Cute." 

"Yeah." Ryo grinned as we went up the stairs and into the house. It was still pretty hot inside- after being in direct sunlight all day, the house took a while to cool off- but the light evening breeze coming in through the open windows helped a lot. I wondered, not for the first time, whether I could use the Strata armor to get a stronger, colder wind going. I'd shied away from trying it, though; I had the feeling it would take an awful lot of energy to call up cold air in the middle of August. I'd have to reach pretty high into the atmosphere to find it, and there was just a possibility that I might get too much and end up with a frigid tornado. 

Besides, meddling with the weather is never very wise. 

"You go clean up, Ryo, we'll get started in here," Sage ordered, pausing in the kitchen doorway. "You're going to have to mend your shirt again," he added as Ryo started down the hall.

"Aw, not again! I swear, you'd think it was made out of spider webs...didn't even..." Ryo's complaints drifted back to us until he turned the corner. Sage shook his head, smiling, then nodded me over and we started trying to decide what to have. 

"Something that doesn't take much cooking," was my vote.

"Sandwiches, then?"

"Maybe some soup- oh, we could finish the rest of that stew, it won't take long to heat up." It wasn't the same stew we'd had the week before, of course, but a new batch. Stew was a pretty popular dish; it was easy to make and the recipe could readily be altered without ruining it. Like if we didn't have noodles, we could use potatoes; if we were out of carrots we could substitute celery or a tomato or a pepper. That was how I learned that turnips leave a lot to be desired. 

"Good idea," Sage replied, and took the bowl from the refrigerator. Then he started stacking sandwich-making things on the counter. I fetched the bread and got out the dishes, then alternated between trying help Sage and trying to stay out of his way. 

Sage had his own system for preparing a meal and was supremely organized even about something as basic as making sandwiches. I always ended up feeling more like a hindrance than a help, but I tried to help out anyway. Figured I'd rather feel inept for at least trying than feel lazy and selfish for standing around and letting him do it all. It didn't help my mood, though. I was tempted to say something about it, but I figured he'd either try to cheer me up by telling me it was fine- which I had my doubts about- or he'd actually agree, which wouldn't exactly help either. Some days, no matter what answer you get, it's the wrong one, and that was one such day. So I kept quiet and just said, "Sage did most of it," when Ryo returned and thanked us for getting the meal together. 

"He does that," Ryo said cheerfully, taking the bowl Sage gave him. "It's impossible to cook with Sage; you just have to stand back and watch in awe, and help out a little around the edges."

"That's exactly right," I agreed, feeling better. Sage looked from one of us to the other and I got a strong feeling that he wasn't sure whether to be amused or a little embarrassed. 

"Awe?" he repeated.

"At your level of efficiency, yes," I assured him, following Ryo into the dining area. "Sometimes the most useful thing we can do is stay out of the way so we don't trip you up or something." Ryo sort of snorted a laugh and I looked at him curiously, sitting down at the table. "What's funny?"

"How accurate you are. I did that once-"

"You didn't trip me," Sage said quickly, taking his own seat.

"We collided," Ryo explained. His voice was dour but there was a sparkle under his words. "Blaze got a lot of beef that night- his share and our share, which ended up on the floor and underfoot."

"Oh, man," I said sympathetically. "And beef, too." The price of beef, as I well knew, was sickeningly high, so high that I hadn't even tried to work out what it would be in U.S. dollars. Probably something like ten dollars an ounce. On a cheap day.

"Yeah. We had Ramen with garlic-lemon shrimp instead," Sage sighed. "We had a few beef-flavored ones, but-"

"At that point, you wouldn't be wanting those," I speculated, and Ryo nodded.

"So I make sure I steer clear, now," he asserted, and Sage gave him another of those half-and-half looks: affection, mixed with something I wasn't too sure about. 

The rest of the dinner discussion was light and casual- in direct contrast to numerous other evenings- and after it was over and cleaned up, we moved into the living-room area. I took one of the chairs and Sage took the other; Ryo took a cushion from the sofa and sat by the hearth. He often did that, and I had never asked why, reasoning that he felt more comfortable near the evidence of his element. But maybe, I thought suddenly, it was more than that. The house was still warm, but the window in the wall beside me was wide open and cool night air was drifting in. Maybe if Ryo sat in a chair or on the sofa, he'd find it too chilly... 

I didn't try to phrase it subtly, just blurted it out; Ryo looked startled, then smiled. "No, no, it doesn't bother me at all. Cold never did affect me much, and even less once I found rekka."

Rekka, that was Wildfire. So- "I guess I thought that..." I paused to try and pull my thoughts together. 

"He's got an oven inside him," Sage said mildly. "It keeps him warm when everyone else is shivering. Well- an oven when he was little, a furnace now that he's got the armor."

"Exactly." Ryo grinned. "I just sit down here because if I sit on the sofa, White Blaze will sit on me and the sofa when he comes in. And he's not light."

"Oh," I said thoughtfully. "No, I agree, he's not what you'd call easy to lift." I looked over at Sage. "So- if cold doesn't affect Ryo, dark doesn't affect you?"

"Well...it doesn't affect me because I can use Kourin to make a light," Sage responded. "If I don't, then I can't see any better than anyone else."

"Same as, if I turned off Rekka, I'd get cold like anyone else."

"But- but then, is it automatic, or not? I mean, if you don't turn it off, but you don't turn it on-?" I gestured at Ryo, then at Sage.

"It could be, I suppose, if I made the effort to make it so- like breathing," Sage agreed. "The problem is- you see, when Ryo's using Rekka to keep himself warm, nobody really notices."

"Not unless they touch me; then sometimes they ask if I have a fever or something," Ryo put in.

"But if I use Kourin to make it lighter, everyone around me notices that. I start to glow," Sage concluded ruefully.

"Ohhh," I said again. "Okay. Hm. I wonder if I'd glow or not... what would it be for me, anyway? Like what's the opposite of air?"

We were still speculating about that, debating whether water or simply airlessness would qualify as my opposite, why, and where one would encounter lack of air (underground, Ryo said, which led to new speculations about earth) when White Blaze wandered in from the pantry, went to nudge Ryo and then Sage in greeting, bypassed me, and sprawled on the sofa. That was neither new or unusual; Blaze and I still stayed out of each other's way most of the time. He enjoyed it when I patted or scratched him, but he didn't seek me out and I didn't exert myself to do much unless he was right near me anyway. He never growled at me or put his ears back, but he never nudged or rubbed affectionately against me either. I tried to treat him as another teenager in the house but I rarely talked to him and never asked him questions. I'd had a feeling he wouldn't miss me when I left, and I wasn't sure myself whether I'd miss him or not. Certainly I wouldn't miss the shedding...

Except now I wasn't leaving...someone ought to tell him that, and it would probably be best if I did it myself, because- because we were going to have to learn to interact with each other sooner or later, and it might as well be sooner. And he might respect me more if I told him myself, sentient being to sentient being, instead of letting Ryo do it- as though I was too good to talk to a tiger directly. Anyway, he'd been here long before me; I'd be moving into his territory, permanently, so it was only good sense to kinda clear it with him, first. A good-faith gesture of an attitude change on my part. 

It was all of that, certainly, but there was also something there that I couldn't really articulate to myself. It had to do with wanting to be included in the affection, and with testing my own determination to turn over a new leaf. This was going to be my family now, two boys and a smart tiger; that was one more than I'd had before, but it needed work. I guess I was still trying to convince myself that accepting this new reality would, in the end, let me have a much happier life than the one I'd had before. It's funny how one shift, one act, can kind of symbolize an entire philosophy that way.

"Hey, are you okay?"

I jumped and discovered that Sage was looking at me curiously. "I think so," I answered, then braced myself, stood up, and moved slowly over to the sofa. Blaze didn't look up at me; on impulse I knelt next to the sofa and offered my hand. He turned his head, sniffed once, then cocked his ears at me. "There's been a change of plans," I said softly, hardly aware of the silence behind me. "I- got a letter from my mother today." Blaze's ears perked up and I gulped. "It's bad news- I guess. She- she's moved down to Osaka, but she doesn't want me to join her. She wrote that I'm to stay with- with the people who're willing to have me, and she'll send 'em money to take care of my expenses-"

Blaze growled, his ears going back, and then he licked my hand- something he hadn't done before. I stroked his head and whispered, "So I have to stay here. The only other place I could go is back to New York, and my father already said he wouldn't take me with him... S-sorry." 

The tiger made a sort of low whine, slid off the sofa, and rubbed his cheek against my shoulder. I smoothed his coarse fur, felt his heavy body nudge mine, and-

I don't know how it happened. Seems like one minute I was kneeling facing the sofa and the next I had my arms around Blaze and was crying into his fur, only half-aware of his forepaws wrapping around me and the low purring rumble by my ear. I remember hearing Sage's voice and feeling the warmth of Ryo's hands, but I didn't let go of White Blaze or lift my head from his coat for a long time. 

When I did finally sit up a little, Blaze licked my face, then rubbed his forehead against my cheek. I closed my eyes and sighed. "I'll be okay," I muttered, more to myself than anyone else. "I'll be okay." I hoped. "Thanks..."

"Here," Sage's voice said quietly, and I opened my eyes to see him holding out a handful of tissues. I took them and used them, and then Ryo pulled me to my feet and put his arm around me.

I didn't pay much attention to where he was taking me until I sat down and realized it was not the chair I was sitting in; it was the side of the bed. I was in the bedroom- my bedroom- and it was dark and Ryo was urging me to lie down and rest. Somewhat muddled, I obeyed and felt him tuck the blanket around me. Sage said something from the end of the bed, something about wanting the window open. I think I told him I'd like that, for he did open the window and the cool air on my face was refreshing. I closed my eyes for a few moments, letting myself relax and feeling my energy drift back.

Second wind, for me, is more literal than figurative, and I was starting to appreciate that.

After a minute or two I decided I didn't need the blanket and pushed it back, and it was right around then that I got a feeling something wasn't entirely right. I opened my eyes- and made a couple of rapid-fire and somewhat startling discoveries. One, the room was completely dark except for a bit of starlight coming in the window; two, the door was closed; and three, I was alone.

I'm still not sure why I wasn't expecting that, and I wasn't exactly thrilled about it. Don't misunderstand, I wasn't angry- I knew it was kindly meant. I was tired, I was stressed, I needed to rest, relax, unwind, whatever you want to call it. I was a loner, I'd expressed my views on privacy, and I hadn't so much hinted at a protest when they brought me into the bedroom and tucked me in. None of which changed the fact that my new family was all in the living room and I was alone in the bedroom. It felt too much like how I'd skulk in my room when Mom and Dad were fighting; granted I wasn't feeling disgusted or ashamed or unnerved, but I was feeling just about as lonely and oddly left out. 

So I sat up and slid out of bed, reflecting vaguely about loners and changes and how sooner or later everyone wants company, even if such a desire is a major alteration from their usual preference. People are social beings, and the ones that shut themselves off from all contact are the ones that tend to lose touch with reality and develop neuroses. I wondered how many neuroses I had unwittingly developed, and whether my lack of structured habits had anything to do with that... and then I opened the door and lost track of all my philosophical mental meanderings for the more practical action of shading my eyes from the light coming down the hallway. I waited a few seconds for my vision to adjust, then quietly moved back down the hall and into the living room.

Yes, I felt a little foolish, popping back in just minutes after I'd been put down for the night, so to speak- rather as if I was a child sneaking out of bed to see what the adults were doing. I almost expected to get a lecture from Ryo, who looked more than a little startled to see me hesitating in the doorway. But before he could say anything, Sage held out his hand and said quietly, "Toma?" I went to him and sat down on the floor by his feet, leaning against the chair.

"Did you dream something unpleasant?" Ryo asked, sliding over to us.

I shook my head and said a little shakily, "I'd just rather be out here."

There was a puzzled sort of silence, and then Ryo said slowly, "Well, okay, if you want to..." in a tone of total incomprehension. "The floor's not as soft as the bed, though," he added a moment later. 

"I- know, but there's no one in the bedroom," I tried to explain. 

"Ah." Sage pressed his hand against the back of my shoulder. "You got lonely."

"Oh, we should have-" Ryo slid even closer and patted my leg, then looked up at Sage. "We don't have to stay in here, that bed is big enough for Rowen to lie down and us to sit."

I straightened up and reached out to wrap my arms around him- took him off-guard but he hugged me back right away. "You don't need to do that," I told him, trying not to cry again. "I know you don't much like going in there." I heard him sigh and felt his arms tighten a little.

"You let go of your old family, I can too," he murmured at last. "That's your room now, Rowen, it shouldn't bother me to go into it."

I leaned back against the chair- and against Sage's legs- but I didn't let go of Ryo, so he ended up leaning on me. "You're right about letting go," I agreed, resting my temple on Sage's knee and watching his hand smooth Ryo's hair. "But you don't have to do it immediately, 'niichan, you can take it in steps."

"Ah," Sage said softly, and slid down to put an arm around each of us. "So. We have two brothers now."

And that was how it was.

The third week went a lot better than the ones before it had. It did take me a little while to shake off the gloom and hurt feelings and start feeling optimistic again, but by Wednesday I was feeling more confident and at home and welcome than I had before. Of course most of that had to do with the exclusion of formality from the household. I still didn't really know how 'brothers' behaved to each other and I probably made some more gaffes, but I tried not to worry about it much and the lack of switching from formal to casual and back made that easier, and things in general a lot smoother. 

I did have to struggle with myself a little when it came to admitting I didn't understand or didn't know something, but since it was pretty plain that Mom wasn't going to be in the picture to give me the remainder of my Japan lessons, I figured I might as well bite the bullet and go with the sources at hand. For that matter, Ryo and Sage probably gave me a more accurate picture of things anyway. Turned out that some of my information was technically correct, but now considered archaic or out of style. 

Ryo and I never did have a talk on the scale that Sage and I did. It's funny- not 'funny' funny, 'odd' funny- how that worked; I remember thinking, during that discussion at the creek, that I should have waited until Ryo came back to get started, because I was going to have to repeat it all to him later. And I meant to. It didn't seem fair not to tell him, especially considering that it was his home and he was the one who'd decided I should join them. Besides, I wanted to keep things equal between us three and not feel like I was leaving anyone out. But after a couple days, it just didn't seem necessary anymore.

I guess that's an indicator, an example of how things evolved between the three of us. Sage and I were still learning how the other thought, so we needed those 'sit down and spell it all out' kind of discussions. We don't need 'em much these days, but it's still our- well, secondary, the mental link comes first nowadays- method of communicating. If we try to rely on behavioral methods, one (or both) of us is likely to get confused and need clarification. Like if I went and made a cake for no obvious reason- like if it wasn't a festival or someone's birthday- Sage would quietly run through all the possible reasons why I might do that, from sugar craving to subtle apology, and then try to decide which one it was this time. The multiple-choice test works both ways.

Ryo always understood me better, partly because he's more direct, but partly because he communicates on a wider scale than Sage does. He's better at deciphering body language and recognizing changes in behavior, and he's a lot better at putting himself into someone else's shoes and concluding how they're feeling, what mood their actions are reflecting. Not as good as Cye is, but not far from it, either. He's good with words- obviously, or he couldn't have been our 'translator'- but he didn't need me to explain for an hour what had been bugging me and what needed to be done about it. He already had a pretty good idea what was bugging me, and he immediately noticed the changes I made and drew the right conclusions from them. He'd know exactly why I made the cake; these days, he can predict my cake-making ahead of time. 

I think the fact that Ryo was allowed, even encouraged, to be openly affectionate, while Sage was forced to 'control' aka deny his feelings, has a lot to do with it. What exactly I don't know, I just theorize that a more openly emotional person will be more attuned to emotions, instinctively, and more accurate in identifying them- 

I'm digressing.

The point is, Ryo and I barely spoke of the changes in the household that made it so much easier and more comforting to live there; we just...lived them, I guess. We spoke casually, we teased each other, I accepted a few lessons in katana and gave a few lessons on how not to get string-bruises when you use a bow. I stopped living out of my suitcases and used the closet and dresser instead (I ended up putting all the stored stuff into the suitcases instead; it worked well enough.) I stopped going into hiding whenever Blaze brought home a kill and gradually learned a good bit about how to cut up fresh meat. I even shot a squirrel or two for him, though I quickly decided I didn't want to get into a habit of that. Sage and Ryo respected my position, agreeing that asking the Ronin of Life to hunt and butcher things was pretty contradictory and maybe not the kindest thing to do.

I never did get into the multi-person baths, but I had surprisingly little difficulty letting the guys 'invade' my bedroom and hang out in there. Actually, Ryo had the difficulty- it was harder for him to let go of his grandmother's memory than he'd expected and he was kinda rough on himself about that. Sage and I pointed out, in various ways, that one has to deal with grief at one's own pace and that trying to rush through it only makes it worse; he agreed and thanked us and we used the living-area as a hang-out, on and off, until he was comfortable with it.

So the third week was a lot better and when it ended school started up again with us all a grade higher. (Yes, of course we passed- everyone does, remember? We weren't worried about passing our exams so much as we were worried about doing well on them, which was another matter entirely.) It took a little adjusting to get back on a school schedule again, but it also smoothed out the last remaining minor annoyance, which was that despite my efforts, I still wasn't as...structured in the use of my time as Ryo or Sage. 

What can I say, I'm just not a creature of habit. Not unless I don't have any choice in the matter. 

By the time the first two weeks of the new term were over, I was marginally coherent in the mornings; that was an improvement. The class material was still overwhelmingly 'been there, done that' in most cases, but I faithfully did the homework and enjoyed the chance to give my friends a helping hand for a change. Ryo took soccer again, naturally, and Sage and I made a point of getting to all his games, not just the Hanai ones. As the days passed I had less and less time to think about my parents, and when I did, I noticed that my feelings towards them were growing steadily more remote. Sage and Ryo were truly becoming my brothers, my family. 

The irony behind that is that we three were spending less time together in school that term: we were all in different classrooms this time. Which sucked. So we saw each other at lunch and after cleanup, and that was it until we met at the train station. Nope, no more library hangout for us; the librarians had complained about 'gossiping, napping, disruptive students who were not utilizing their time either for study or accepted recreation', so regulations about club and activity participation got enforced very strongly that year. That meant we didn't get to make a dent in the piles of homework before we got home, which goes some way toward explaining why I had less time to think about my parents. 

Sage made the best of it and went into the Kendo club, and I, after some hesitation, tried the Astronomy club and enjoyed it. But I did miss hanging out with the guys in the library, and it made me grateful that we were living in the same home. If we hadn't been, I for one would have been hellishly lonely every day after school. 

Of course, that's assuming Mom decided to stay in Toyama or chose to board me with anyone else; if I'd been down in Osaka with her, I would have been hellishly lonely, period.

Oh, and we all had Professor Minoro for history that year, which doubly sucked. Turned out that some teachers taught seventh, eighth and ninth-grade history classes, and other teachers took over for tenth, eleventh and twelfth grade. Logical, since 7-9 is considered high school and 10-12 is considered college, but like I said, it sucked it for us. Me especially, since I was the one who got caned by the bastard. 

But I'm not gonna go into that here and now. It pissed me off royally at the time, but it pretty much faded into insignificance at the end of the second week of the term... when the Dynasty showed up.